Finding my Feet as an At Home Mom

Working is all I have ever known. I took my first job when I was 14 and have worked ever since! I worked until I was 38 weeks pregnant and returning to work was always my plan.

Fast forward 2 years and here I am living what looks like a very different life. My employer is no longer an investment bank but a small toddler who does not provide coffee breaks, allows no vacation leave, expects me to be on call 24/7 and thinks bullying and harassment is the best way to get me to meet her ‘deadlines’. 

Whilst leaving the world of employment was never part of my plan, I’ve been determined to embrace this change. That’s not to say it hasn’t been a rocky ride!

2 years on, what have I made of my experience?

Office vs Home

Before I had a baby, my whole identity was drawn from my career. I loved my work and was naively fixated on promotions and smashing that elusive glass ceiling. My days were long, spent in meetings with colleagues from across the globe and work trips to exotic locations. Am I the only one who thinks Russia is exotic?!

So what does my day look like now? Well, with a stretch of the imagination, not much different. The early starts and late nights remain! I still struggle to get places on time. Although it’s no longer a roaming cow on the train line into London that keeps me late, but my toddler. My meeting rooms are now one of DC’s playparks, or if my boss is being patient, a coffee shop for all of 10 minutes. My fellow mom and dad friends are just as international, with Volta Park often rivalling the UN for its diversity.

Reshaping my identity as an At Home Mom

My perspective hasn’t always been as light-hearted! I’m sure many readers can relate when I say I lost all sense of my identity when I left work. As an independent and career driven individual, I felt I was letting myself down and squandering everything I had worked so hard to achieve. Leaving work felt like a step backwards for the feminist in me.

In hindsight, that mindset was ridiculous!  I chose to embark on this mad adventure. Surely that is the crux of equality – to have the choice in the first place. I am still the same person with the same set of values, simply playing them out in a different arena.  And in spite of my half-hearted attempts, some things will never change with cooking and cleaning always best left to my other half!

Finding a sense of fulfillment as an At Home Mom

Being an ever-present force in my daughter’s early years is something I truly appreciate. However, I often lose sight of this when living the day to day reality of being an At Home Mom.  It can be lonely, frustrating and dare I say it – boring – to spend most of your waking hours with someone who asks ‘what’s that noise’ 5,000 times in 2 hours, refuses to eat anything other than goldfish and has a tantrum because she can’t swim with the ducks in the Potomac!

Daily frustrations aside, I am learning to measure my achievements in a different way. I’ve built a network of wonderful friends (see Top 3 Tips For Making New Mom Friends) which ensures our week is full of things to do and people to see. Sticking to a routine gets us out of the house and keeps cabin fever at bay! I now appreciate that a sense of worth is so much more than a monthly paycheck.

And please don’t judge me when I say being able to roam the aisles at Trader Joes in Glover Park on a Monday morning makes me unbelievably excited!

Looking to the future

I have no idea how long my life as a toddler tamer will last so I’m already inventing roles for myself in the world of employment. Time away from the corporate world has been unexpectedly refreshing. For any parents considering a return to work – don’t feel like you have to do what you did before!

Parenthood comes in all shapes and sizes and one thing I’ve learned is that we are all simply doing what we feel works best for our family.  That in mind, I’ll get back to the daily battle of wills with my daughter. I’ve only got myself to blame for her headstrong determination!