Our Brave Children: The Argument for Participation Trophies

Scrolling through Instagram, I stopped on a picture of my friend’s daughter receiving a medal. The caption read that her daughter was “getting a medal for winning no soccer games this season.” I laughed out loud. It is so silly that our kids get trophies and medals just for showing up. Right? Maybe not. 

Childhood Bravery

The next day I walked my oldest daughter into her basketball camp. A little background here: this is her first time at this camp. She loves basketball so we signed her up despite not knowing anyone going. It is in the high school, which is big and she has only been inside once before. She is nine and the camp goes through middle school. Oh, and the camper population is over 90% boys (I asked). 

We got to the gym and I was overwhelmed. There were close to 100 boys in the gym and only one other girl. My daughter had made a few friends in the first couple of days at camp, but they weren’t there yet. And still, without hesitation, she said goodbye, walked through the sea of boys, found a basketball and started shooting hoops. 

This made me think. Kids are brave. They are constantly put into situations where they don’t know anyone and where they don’t know what to expect. Kids are frequently doing things for the first time. They are experimenting to see what they like and what they don’t like. Which means that sometimes they succeed and sometimes they fail. 

Pomp and Circumstance

I remember being blown away by kindergarten. Not my own kindergarten experience mind you, but watching my kids achieve that milestone. Truthfully, I don’t remember much about how I felt when I first went to kindergarten, but that must be such a scary experience. You are meeting so many kids and a new teacher.  Some children have a longer day than they are used to and certainly everyone has less play time. You also are learning new and huge concepts like reading and math. And beyond all of that newness, a child starting kindergarten has to learn how to be a student. On those little five-year-old shoulders lay the burden of creating a foundation for years and years of education. 

I never thought kindergarten graduations made sense. Preschool, yes, you are moving on to a new phase of life. However for kindergarten, in most cases, you stay in the same school with the same kids. It seemed similar to a participation trophy. But now I get it, those kids completed something pretty incredible. Hand them a cap and gown. Give them some pomp and circumstance!

Celebrating True Accomplishments

Getting back to participation trophies—the argument against them is that they teach kids that showing up is enough. Participation trophies mean that kids don’t have to push themselves to win or understand that sometimes you lose and you don’t get rewarded for that. 

I believe that argument loses sight of the bigger picture. Just showing up and trying can be a big deal. Kids join teams of people they don’t know. They try new things that they may or may not like. Beyond that, they try new things that they may or not be able to do well. And then they push themselves to learn rules and strategies. They do all of this over and over again throughout their childhood in many different forms, not just sports. 

Kids are brave. They should be celebrated. Getting a participation trophy doesn’t mean being rewarded for doing nothing. It means being rewarded for that bravery. A participation trophy tells kids that we see what they are doing and how hard they are trying to find their place in the world. It says that we understand the risks they are taking just by showing up. And beyond all else, it lets them know that no matter the result, we are proud of them.