7 Ways to Build Meaningful Relationships With Your Neighbors

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Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday month is always inspirational. The year is new, and we are all usually thinking of the best way to be our best selves. Let’s start with being good neighbors.

My Experience

When I moved to NE DC, it was the first time in my adult life that I have truly felt like part of a neighborhood and community. Folks in my neighborhood speak to and look out for each other as much as possible. Our children play together, we attend each other’s events, and we talk about what we can do to make our community stronger. Since it is a new community, we are all very intentional about being good neighbors to one another. Relating to neighbors in this way is new to me. I am definitely following the lead of a few neighbors who have been warm and supportive community-builders. In keeping with our Cultivate Community Challenge, here are ways to help foster community with neighbors. 

Let’s Lean In: Ways to Contribute

  1. Say Hello: I think we all take for granted what a simple hello can do. It’s so easy, and it instantly acknowledges the humanity in others. When you choose a neighborhood, you are also choosing to live amongst the people in it (for better or worse, smile). Let’s lean into that choice. Whether you are new in your neighborhood or you’ve been there for years, greet those who live around you.
  2. Be Welcoming!: If someone moves in (1-2 doors on either side), welcome them to the neighborhood. You can go old-school, and bring lemonade or a baked treat, or simply knock on the door and introduce yourself. Let them know you have flour or eggs if they ever need it (more smiles). As a result, you’re helping build a relationship with them.
  3. Be Respectful: If you are having a loud raucous jam, inform your neighbors in advance. Particularly those who are in earshot of your jam. If you are having guest, let them know that there may be kids at play and ask that they slow down when driving through your neighborhood.
  4. Embrace the Culture: All DC neighborhoods have their own culture. Find the beauty in that culture and contribute positively. Learn about the area’s past and present. Drum circles and weekly kickball games are activities that add positively to the neighborhood; they, in fact, bring us together. Lean in! 
  5. Sharing is Caring: If you find something great in your neighborhood, share it with your neighbors. Put it on a message board. If you see something to beware of, share it. My neighbors call or text if my garage has been open too long, or if I have a package at my door. These are all small things that add to a sense of community and show that we have each other’s backs. Similarly, you’re modeling how to be a positive community member to others.
  6. Care About Conflict: If issues or disagreements arise, call your neighbors IN. Sit down and speak to them in a way that acknowledges your connection. Find a way to relate. If your schedules conflict, leave a note on their door. Think about how you would like the same message communicated to you. When I need to speak to someone about an issue or problem, I try to think of the most polite way to state it (even if it seems obvious to me) and then offer a suggestion or compromise that is free of judgment. 
  7. Be Mindful About Pets: Who knew our four-legged friends could be so divisive in a neighborhood?! No matter what side you’re on, just think about this. Be mindful of how your pets interact with your neighbors, and adhere to the laws so that you don’t put your neighbors or yourself in an uncomfortable situation. Some people may have dog allergies, and some of your neighbors may not be dog people. It’s best to keep pets on a leash if you aren’t in a dog park. Similarly, be a good neighbor by cleaning up after your pet. It’s just one more way to take care of your neighborhood.

My neighbors are helping me be a good neighbor every day, and I hope that my tips help others. Be great! Comment below with ways you are building meaningful relationships with your neighbors.

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Shaniece James
Shaniece is a California girl living in DC. She discovered DC in 1995 when she came to study theater arts at Howard University and left DC for New York in 2000. Fast forward to 2008, she excitedly moved back to DC with her husband (found him in NYC) and daughter (grew her in Atlanta). She’s been living, loving, creating art and making connections in DC ever since! She now has two daughters (11 and 6). Shaniece enjoyed working in the non-profit/NGO sector for years until making the transition into full time chef, organizer, manager and volunteer (you know, a stay-at-home mom) and a part time artist, and occasional thrower of a good party. Shaniece loves family, reading, art, international relations and development, and building bridges. Exploring the world is very important to her and she loves to travel with family and friends.

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