“Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes. Five hundred twenty-five thousand moments so dear.” – Rent, “Seasons of Love” lyrics
How do you measure a year like no other? It would literally be impossible to measure in cups of coffee as this classic song offers.
For me, it’s been 525,600 minutes lacking:
- Hugging someone outside of my household
- Eating endless bowls of chips and salsa with friends
- Gathering for extended family dinners
- Exploring museums with my kid
- Sleepovers with a nephew
- Cuddling a baby
- Smiling or shaking hands to greet a stranger
- Working in a communal coffee shop
- Awkwardly bumping elbows, silently fighting for armrest space on a plane
It has lacked love in the form of connection. I never thought I’d miss standing in a crowded bus or trying to drown out the annoying sounds of some stranger eating loudly nearby. Hours of video calls just aren’t the same as sitting next to a loved one, smelling their distinct perfume.
It’s been mourning, both literally and figuratively. A sense of loss from a life we saw change overnight. Missing out on holding new babies and taking in that beautiful new baby scent, knowing that when I finally meet these tiny loved ones in person, they may be in a completely different stage of life.
But it also has been 525,600 minutes of change and growth. Of:
- Becoming a better mom because of the hard stuff
- Learning how to tackle difficulties one day at a time
- Deepening my relationship with my husband and son
- Showing support and love for others in new ways
- Valuing every day we are given
- Trying to find joy in unexpected places
- Growing, even when I didn’t want to
- Loving in spite of loss
As we head into the second year of so many unknowns, one thing is for sure. I have 525,600 minutes to appreciate any sense of loss, along with knowing this too shall pass.
And soon enough, we will finish off bowls of chips and salsa together, we will come together for big family dinners, and we will hug new babies like never before.